for both guys and girls: we all know what is coming up next week. yup.
for the ladies:
there is probably a guy that you’re sort of dating, interested in, talking to, maybe you’ve been seeing each other for a few months. things are going great. suddenly, its february. where is he? no where to be seen. all of a sudden, he doesn’t text back. he doesn’t return phone calls. he’s disappeared. why is this? valentine’s day, ladies. the one holiday most men fear because they aren’t ready for the commitment they THINK they have to make on that day, or they are afraid you’ll think too much of a text they happen to send you that day or the previous night that says “let’s grab a drink.” the boy does what his instincts (also known as his “friends”) tell him to do. run, do not walk, run from this girl until february 15th, when you are certain the candy at wal-greens is on sale. this is his first clue valentine’s day is over with. ladies, don’t fret. this is typical, and they will resurface, and pretend like they had a busy week. but we all know the truth. inexcusable, but unavoidable.
here is some advice for you guys out there:
if you like her, send her something that lets her know you’re thinking about her, or looking forward to getting to know her better. communicate. here is the crazy part:
“The Victorian Era ushered in a time of proper etiquette among the upper class in England during Queen Victoria’s reign (1837-1901). Among the many rules and customs, there were expected behaviors that prohibited outright flirtations, questions, or conversations between others. Even though the use of flowers to convey messages had been used in Persia and the Middle East, it was during the Victorian Era that the tradition spread in England with the publication of flower dictionaries explaining the meaning of plants, flowers, and herbs. It soon became popular to use flowers to send secretive messages. Though often portrayed to relay positive messages of interest, affection, and love, flowers could also send a negative message and at times, the same flower could have opposite meanings depending on how it was arranged or delivered.”
how beautiful is it that flowers became what they are today because of the desire to communicate a feeling, and how disappointing that its the same reason that people are scared of them?
we don’t think you want to marry us just because you’re sending us something sweet. we aren’t going to start thinking of names of the children we will have together, nor do we begin shopping for a wedding dress. it just makes us feel good. you don’t have to propose or begin a 5 year relationship or sign a lease on a new apartment next tuesday. you will earn an uber amounts of points with our friends, which by the way, is the secret to winning a girl. here are some ideas for our favorite heart wearing holiday:
flowers that don’t say “i love you and i’d like you to have my babies and move into a small house in a suburb of newark immediately”:
daisies are said to mean innocence, purity, beauty & simplicity. i’m a fan of white daisies, personally. they’re classic and whimsical. keeping them in a simple arrangement is often the way to go. here are some examples.
here, the daisies are with craspedia (the yellow balls, often referred to as “billy’s balls”) and green hypericum berries. simple, and yet incredible beautiful and textural.
if you need to go the cheaper route, and often, the most thoughtful, go to the local bodega, get some white long stemmed daisies, and put them in a mason jar. write a card that tells her the meaning of the flowers and why you chose them. its sweet, to the point, and you might just get a kiss.
(the very dark blue flower is delphinium)
these flowers are some of my favorite, and are said to be “big-hearted and fun”. make sure your florist doesn’t talk you into “larkspur”, these are the slightly less enchanting varieties of delphinium. i think they are beautiful by themselves, wrapped up in brown tissue paper.
here they are in arrangements:
while i’m not a huge fan of the rocks, you can see here that delphinium can come in many colors, and its incredibly elegant.
3. the gardenia
simply stated, it means “you’re lovely”. this is a flower that you need big bucks if you want to put it in an arrangement (each flower runs at around $18 dollars). or, you could purchase a gardenia bush or, my favorite solution, one single gardenia. it says what it needs to say, and smells insanely good.
ok, forget that it says “the registry”. they are also white flowers, which are popular with brides. but this arrangement, although pricey, is beautiful, and simple. the upside down pyramid vase is very “japanese” and florists love working with them, as they usually compliment every arrangement. as for a bear grass wrap inside to cover the stems, and you’ve got what you see here.
this is a gardenia topiary. not always easy to keep, but they make a beautiful statement if you’re giving it to a lady with a green thumb. (not recommended for brown or black thumbs)
here is my favorite. a single gardenia in a vintage pitcher. so easy. and yet, this makes a huge statement.
4. the iris
the purple iris means wisdom and compliments. these flowers are incredibly whimsical, and they remind me of my grandmother’s garden. its hard to find a florist that can put these in an arrangement that truly shows off the beauty of an iris. try asking them to keep it simple, like these:
these are, hands down, my favorite flower. despite their meaning, which is loyalty, most girls will immediately think of this when they see them:
the children’s choir from alice in wonderland!
here are some ways to give them, potted or in a vase. (if you can’t tell, the purple ones are my favorite!)
your lady probably doesn’t know it, but this is her favorite flower. most girls go crazy for these. don’t get them confused with peonies, as they are quite smaller, and more expensive.
they mean ” you are radiant with charm and attractive”
here they are in some arrangements:
oh, my sweet love affair with ranunculus. it may never end.
7. pink and orange roses
despite what you might think, not all roses mean “love”.
pink roses mean happiness, appreciation, admiration and friendship. keep it simple with these flowers, and let their beauty stand alone.
orange roses mean fascination, a display of enthusiasm.
***helpful hint about roses: make sure you tell them exactly how you would like them to be arranged. don’t let them give you long stemmed roses arranged with babys breath in an “airy arrangement”. she’ll end up with something larger than she can carry home and ugly as anything. i repeat NO BABY’S BREATH. if you’re unsure, ask for short steam roses, arranged in the pave style. pavé is a french word meaning “paved”. instead of being light and airy with long stems, leaves, filler plants and few flowers, the pavé style is dense, perhaps even crowded with flowers. because pavé’s overall look is clean, tailored, luxurious and sophisticated, it lends itself well to elegant occasions.
trust me on this.
8. sweet pea
this beautiful flower was named by the poet John Keats. It means lasting or blissful pleasure, thank you for a lovely time, or I’m thinking of you.
*tips for looking for flowers:
don’t order through an online service like 1-800-flowers or teleflora.
here is how those sites work:
most florists, to stay in business, subscribe to a large florist network such as teleflora or 1-800-flowers. their intentions start out good, but it can end up in a big mess later on. its supposed to be a way for people out of town to order flowers and find a reputable flower shop in a town they don’t live in…for occasions such as funerals, birthdays, anniversaries, etc. but what the buyers don’t understand is that these companies take out a huge fee before processing the order, and passing it on to the florists. by the time it reaches the florists, so many fees have been taken out, they can’t fill the order that you wanted, and the recipient gets something that they don’t expect.
here is how its broken down:
scenario: your girlfriend lives in brooklyn, going to brooklyn law school, and you live in florida. you want to send her flowers. but what florist to use? you look in teleflora’s large network and see a florist that’s near her. you call teleflora and say you want a dozen white roses, an “i love you balloon” and a small box of chocolates. you’re willing to spend $200.
$130, then subtract teleflora fees, which amounts to about $20-$30, so you’re left with $100. subtract the delivery fee, which is normally around $10 (at minimum). now take out a retailer’s tax: $10-15 dollars, and all of a sudden you’re at $75-$80 dollars. a small box of chocolates is $15-$20, a balloon is $5, and now you’re left with less than $60. guess what? a dozen roses is $75. then, there is no gaurentee that the florist will even be able to fill your order, bc chances are you ordered the day of or before valentines. but you don’t find out until the day after valentines, bc even though the florist has someone sitting at the computer at all times rejecting and confirming orders as soon as they come in, teleflora neglects to tell you this until 8:00pm on valentines day, and now your girlfriend is getting left over roses and whatever chocolate was left with a tacky balloon. and don’t you dare blame the florists. these companies have so much money put into a “refund” clause bc they know there will be many complaints. they know!
does this sound like the ideal solution? nah.
here is what you do instead look for a florist on yelp near her that has great reviews. one that has been around for a while. and guess what? don’t wait until the day before. call a week before, so that they can order the flowers you WANT. talk to the designer there, and don’t limit them. say “she likes orange” or “she hates babies breath” or “make it like martha stewart” because you don’t know any better. if you don’t know what to say, let the florists make up something (and check it over first). they’re good at it. (and they’re used to it).
take it from someone who has worked at a flower shop. oh, that would be me.
wait, you say, i’m forgetting the whiskey part! no i’m not.
if flowers aren’t her thing, send this: